BRINGING DOWN THE CURTAIN… - Ranking the Finales

As Lower Decks draws to (an inexplicable and premature) end I want to look back at the previous finales and try to rank them. As we know an ending in Star Trek is rarely the end but these episodes bring the curtain down on their respective series to varying degrees of success

HONOURABLE MENTIONS - These 3 entries were never intended to be finales and don’t wrap up anything in the traditional sense but are noteworthy nonetheless

TURNABOUT INTRUDER (TOS) - The Original Series goes out with a whimper. Honestly there’s not a lot to recommend this entry. Shatner’s performance is terrific but the body-swap trope has been done before (and better) and the sexism is beyond problematic

THE COUNTER-CLOCK INCIDENT (TAS) - One of the better episodes from the animated series. It’s noteworthy for the onscreen debut of Robert April, first captain of the Enterprise, and as the final episode of the run of 22

CHILDREN OF MARS (SHORT TREKS) - This (seemingly) final Short Trek is a perfect prologue to Picard S1 as we view the synth attack on Mars from the perspective of two schoolgirls. The only Problem I have with it is (don’t lynch me) I hate the David Bowie song

7. THESE ARE THE VOYAGES… (ENT) - What were they thinking? This episode is a stain on the legacy of Enterprise. Fans and cast alike are 100% justified in their anger at it being turned into an episode of TNG (not even a particularly good one). It is a slap in the face that stings to this day. If you’re going to flash forward to the signing of the charter then let us see it through the eyes of the crew we love, not holograms of them. Let us see them connecting and saying goodbye, and I don’t mean via the inexplicable decision to kill off Trip (also spoiled by Troi announcing it before it happens). It’s not the worst episode ever produced but it’s certainly a contender

6. LIFE, ITSELF (DSC) - I’ll start by saying that there is a massive leap in quality from the previous entry. What the creators of Discovery pulled off in such a short time after the cancellation announcement is nothing short of astounding. All of season 5 is great but the finale takes it to another level. The Progenitor story is wrapped up and we end on a high with the wedding of Saru and T’Rina. If it ended on the beach with Burnham and Book it would be perfect. I have mixed feelings about the epilogue. It’s beautifully done but the Zora stuff feels shoe-horned in purely to tie in to ‘Calypso’. I also understand that the whole series is Michael’s story but there is little to no indication of where the rest of the crew end up. Perhaps Academy will have some answers…

(Provisional) 5. OUROBOROS PT. 2 (PDG) - I hope and pray this isn’t the end of Prodigy but if it is it can sit proudly alongside the best finales in the franchise. The wrapping up of the seasons arc is expertly handled but the middle act is a stroke of genius. Tying into the wider franchise by lining up with the synth attack on Mars is brilliant. I love that we get to see Janeway’s reaction and how she deals with it. Her coming out of retirement makes perfect sense. The final act works as both an ending and also an ideal jumping off point for any third season. The kids get their own ship and are all made acting ensigns. As a wise man once said, lets see what’s out there

4. ENDGAME (VOY) - From the alternate future to the return of the Borg to a series-best performance from Kate Mulgrew this is a rollicking thrill-ride with wonderful humour, drama and the highest stakes yet.The time travel plot is terrific although Admiral Janeway effectively destroys an entire timeline to get the crew home. Her scenes in the first half with Tuvok are truly heartbreaking and only one of several moments throughout that clearly have the cast emotional that this is the end. I’m not even disappointed that we don’t see any reunions or even a shot on Earth. The final moments with Voyager exploding from the Borg Cube, Janeway’s simple ‘we did it’, Miral’s cries from sickbay and the glorious final shot of Voyager approaching Earth gets me every time. While objectively perhaps not the best series Voyager is my happy place and I feel huge affection for this family of characters and this was a terrific send-off

3. THE LAST GENERATION (PCD) - What can I say? A superlative finale to a superlative season and series. This is the send-off the TNG cast deserved and it also sets up the next chapter for this era of Trek. Not a moment is wasted. We open with the fabulous surprise of Walter Koenig’s voice as Chekov’s son warning people away from Earth. There’s a lot of tension on the Titan culminating in the closing scenes with the return of Tuvok promoting Seven to Captain at the recommendation of the late Captain Shaw. I really hope we get Legacy with Seven, Raffi and Jack as their dynamic is great. The episode though is all about Picard and his crew. They all shine in their final face-off with the Borg. Picard proves he’s a bad-ass at any age as he pulls out a phaser and fires screaming ‘You are not his mother’ at the Borg Queen. I’m still convinced even on rewatch that someone’s gonna die as it’s heavily signposted in that direction BUT that would’ve been too downbeat and we’d have been robbed of the glorious final scene as the old friends sit down to a hand of poker as the TNG theme plays over the end credits. Perfect.

2. ALL GOOD THINGS… (TNG) - OK. I understand that this is probably objectively the best finale. The problem is thanks to the movies and Picard S3 I struggle to think of it in the same way as some of the others. That said, the concept is probably the best as we see Picard moving through time meaning we get to reflect on the early days of the show bringing back people like Tasha and we see one potential future for the crew (including an Enterprise with 3, that’s right 3, nacelles). The return of Q is also a wonderful bookend for the series as we are reminded that the trial never ends. There’s so much to enjoy, Bev in her own captains chair, the design of the Pasteur, the iconic poker game ending. I defy anyone not to get emotional and there’s a reason Terry Matalas chose to close out Picard in the same way. It may not have been the final adventure for this crew but it’s still one of the greats

1. WHAT YOU LEAVE BEHIND (DS9) - There was only one choice for me. The amount of story and characters that are wrapped up here is insane to think about but somehow they pulled it off. We get (to name a few) the final battle and ultimate end of the Dominion War, a beautiful scene in Vic’s with the whole crew together one last time and then Sisko’s ultimate fate as the conflict between the Emissary and the maniacal Winn and Dukat comes to its epic conclusion. We then get hints of where everyone will end up. Odo returning to his people, O’Brien going back to Earth to teach, Kira running the station and of course Quark…still at Quark’s. I really only have 2 criticisms, first of all Sisko being forced to leave his family as that has been the heart of the whole series. Secondly is the unforgivable choice to exclude Jadzia from the ‘Way You Look Tonight’ montage. I can forgive all of that though as this is a bombastic, emotional, beautifully written finale. 

AND THEN THERE WERE NONE - THE NOVEL

Ten little soldier boys went out to dine

One choked his little self and then there were Nine;

Nine little soldier boys sat up very late

One overslept himself and then there were Eight;

Eight little soldier boys travelling in Devon

One said he’d stay there and then there were Seven;

Seven little soldier boys chopping up sticks

One chopped himself in halves and then there were Six;

Six little soldier boys playing with a hive

A bumblebee stung one and then there were Five;

Five little soldier boys going in for law

One got in Chancery and then there were Four;

Four little soldier boys going out to sea

A red herring swallowed one and then there were Three;

Three little soldier boys walking in the zoo;

A big hear hugged one and then there were Two;

Two little soldier boys sitting in the sun

One got frizzled up and then there was One;

One little soldier boy left all alone

He went and hanged himself and then there were none

 

Ten deaths. Ten bodies. An island with no way off. What happened? Who killed them? What is the answer to the mystery of Soldier Island?

‘And Then There Were None’ is often touted as the greatest mystery novel ever written and it’s not hard to see why. The atmosphere Christie creates is palpable. The tension ramps up as the bodies start to pile up and the claustrophobia and danger emanate from every page.

Our ten characters are set up brilliantly as we meet each one individually in the opening section. Ten strangers. All summoned to Soldier Island by different people and for different purposes. 35 pages in the action begins as a mysterious voice announces that all ten are there to answer for their parts in the deaths of people they once knew. This message is one of many masterstrokes from the pen of Christie. Before we know what’s about to unfold, we understand why someone thinks each of the ten must die. Extra-judicial justice is a theme of many of Christie’s stories. This is a shining example matched only by her other iconic mystery ‘Murder on the Orient Express’.

The only other indication we get of what’s coming is a brilliant piece of foreshadowing. I am talking of course about the nursery rhyme the novel takes it’s title from. There are other shall we say ‘problematic’ versions, but the soldier version works here. The rhyme is framed on the wall of every room of the house on Soldier Island.

The novel grabs you at this point and doesn’t let up for a second. There are of course the obligatory red herrings as the shadow of suspicion is cast over each of the dwindling number of survivors in turn and it’s feasible that any could be responsible. Is it Blore the undercover police officer? Do the deaths by poisoning point to Dr. Armstrong? Is the puritanical Miss Brent striking down sinners? The genius of Christie is that she crafts reasons for suspecting someone and then giving us a reason why that may not be the case.

Every potential plot hole is paved over. We understand why there can be no escape. Why the killer can ultimately only be one of the ten. This is all compounded by the lack of a central protagonist. A few people begin to seemingly take on the role but then either take a step back or get summarily bumped off. From the opening page where we meet the first ‘little soldier boy’ to the final act with only two left standing, it is never clear who is most likely to be behind all of this. By the time the final body hits the floor I don’t think even the savviest mystery reader could work it all out.

The final chapter and epilogue are brief but in a few pages we get to find out not only the identity of the murderer but also how and why all of this has happened.

Perhaps the greatest strength of the book is that it loses almost none of its power on subsequent re-reads. The clues to the truth are all fiendishly subtle but they are there. A line here, an action there. Quite simply it’s a masterpiece and a flawless mystery

Rating: 10/10

Amber of the Times - Reviewing ‘Open a Channel: A Woman’s Trek’ by Nana Visitor

 “If we can honor the systems we are a part of by continually questioning them and updating the terms of our agreements with them—we can maybe find a way to keep the amber of the times we find ourselves in now from hardening around us”

This is a metaphor that Nana Visitor uses a few times in this masterwork. It encapsulates the mission statement of ‘Open a Channel: A Woman’s Trek’. We must all examine ourselves to move away from a culture of ‘that’s just the way it is’ to a place of equality where it’s unthinkable to tell someone they have to be ‘f**kable’ (not my word) to even be considered for a part. 

The book is perfectly structured as it looks at the characters and the remarkable women who bring them to life starting in the 60s with Nichelle Nichols and Majel Barrett-Roddenberry right up to today with Christina Chong and Jess Bush to name a few. 

The 60s - The pioneering Uhura and Chapel are both explored here alongside the guest actresses of TOS. Compared to what else was on air at the time Trek was light years (no pun intended) ahead of its compatriots but was still mired in the culture of the decade. They were rarely the focus of the episode and when they were it was almost always to show us how the men were impacted. That said it’s impossible to understate the effect they had simply by being onscreen

TNG - Things had progressed in the 90s but not by much. TNG started with 3 female series regulars, 2 of whom were put in caregiving roles and the third they had so much trouble writing for that Denise Crosby felt compelled to leave the show. However, Troi and Crusher came up again and again in Nana’s conversations with fans about who inspired them. 

DS9 - Having played Kira for 7 years Nana is naturally best placed to talk about this. Onscreen, Kira and Dax were a gift, 2 complex, multi-faceted women. Kira a powerful leader and Dax of course having an indelible and lasting impact on LGBTQIA+ viewers. Offscreen was a different story. Nana’s fears over the addition of Michael Dorn to the show (which she only found out about when a fan asked her about it at a convention), the circumstances of Terry Farrell’s departure and the horrific treatment of Keiko and by extension Rosalind Chao in certain corners of the fandom. All of this was tied to their gender in some way or other. The book also highlights other areas which have thankfully moved on greatly. It’s upsetting to learn that Alexander Siddig was told he had to return to work literally within hours of his and Nana’s son Django’s birth, with her coming back to work soon after. (Sidenote: this was during the filming of ‘Let He Who is Without Sin…’, adding to the already plentiful reasons to dislike that episode)

VOY - The series that did more for women than the rest of the Berman era combined. Kate Mulgrew is a force of nature and the power of her being not only the first female Captain but also doing it on her own with no admirals to answer to radiates from the screen and the pages of this book. However, by the mere fact of being the first woman at the helm she was scrutinised over every detail and decision. Roxann Dawson came from an under-represented group as a Latinx woman which had its own challenges. Jeri Ryan had to deal with being characterised as ‘Borg Barbie’. The relationship between Seven and Janeway is groundbreaking in showing a woman acting as a mentor for another woman but we see how a lack of communication led to the offscreen situation which the book quite correctly doesn’t dive into in detail out of respect for those involved. Finally, I want to praise how the book handles Jennifer Lien’s place in the story. If she one day decides to discuss those years, it should be on her terms but one must acknowledge that there were many difficult factors at play

ENT - Nana has singled out Brannon Braga for praise appreciating his candidness about what went wrong here. Quite frankly the powers that be (predominantly men, go figure) thought they’d won the fight with Voyager. Echoing Nichelle Nichols, Linda Park as Hoshi did not have a lot to do but was impactful just by being there as an Asian woman on the bridge. Jolene Blalock didn’t fare much better and tellingly, neither actress agreed to be interviewed for the project (this is an assumption, they may simply not have had time or not have received the request). It’s such a missed opportunity as we could have easily been shown another mentorship between two women. We’d have to wait for Discovery and the Burnham / Georgiou pairing for that. 

Modern Trek - We’ve come so far but still have a long way to go. In the 60s and probably even the 90s we would not have had a woman of colour, namely Sonequa Martin-Green (trademark the nicest woman in the world), leading a Star Trek series. The challenges that face women of colour in particular are still prevalent. We also see the difficulties faced by Mary Wiseman and Mary Chieffo. Wiseman has been treated disgracefully by ‘fans’ who believe if you are a certain body type you have no business being on a starship, but to her enormous credit she bravely stayed for every little girl and woman as well as every neurodivergent person who feel seen watching her onscreen. Chieffo has fought the same battles along with every other woman who gets put in a box by small-minded people. Tawny Newsome  from Lower Decks discusses her life long love of Trek and her own struggles in the industry. Rounding out this section are Christina Chong and Jess Bush from Strange New Worlds. It gives hope that things are moving in the right direction as La’an and this version of Chapel show us how characters like Tasha Yar and TOS Chapel should and could have been written

The fans - A highlight of the book is the stories of who are a minute fraction of the many women who have felt seen as a result of Star Trek and who have followed their own paths using it as their example. The army chaplain who loves Beverly Crusher, the engineers who admire B’Elanna Torres, the politician and leaders who ask themselves ‘What would Janeway do?’  This is the real-world impact Trek has. 

Finally, I feel it’s important to say that this book is in no way ‘man-hating’. It spoke to me and serves as a valuable reminder that we must be allies. We must recognise and acknowledge that as men we are inherently privileged and there are challenges we quite simply never have and never will face just do live our lives and do our jobs. We can and must support and raise up women. We can open doors for them and more importantly keep them open. Nana speaks candidly of men in Trek who have done just that. 

What Nana has created here is a living breathing document that takes an in-depth, surprising and above all honest look at women in Hollywood and beyond. It should be required reading for not only Trek fans but anyone with an interest in making the world a brighter, more progressive and more inclusive place. There are many more stories to be told and I eagerly await news of the teased documentary. Open a channel, you’ll be better for it.