BRINGING DOWN THE CURTAIN… - Ranking the Finales

As Lower Decks draws to (an inexplicable and premature) end I want to look back at the previous finales and try to rank them. As we know an ending in Star Trek is rarely the end but these episodes bring the curtain down on their respective series to varying degrees of success

HONOURABLE MENTIONS - These 3 entries were never intended to be finales and don’t wrap up anything in the traditional sense but are noteworthy nonetheless

TURNABOUT INTRUDER (TOS) - The Original Series goes out with a whimper. Honestly there’s not a lot to recommend this entry. Shatner’s performance is terrific but the body-swap trope has been done before (and better) and the sexism is beyond problematic

THE COUNTER-CLOCK INCIDENT (TAS) - One of the better episodes from the animated series. It’s noteworthy for the onscreen debut of Robert April, first captain of the Enterprise, and as the final episode of the run of 22

CHILDREN OF MARS (SHORT TREKS) - This (seemingly) final Short Trek is a perfect prologue to Picard S1 as we view the synth attack on Mars from the perspective of two schoolgirls. The only Problem I have with it is (don’t lynch me) I hate the David Bowie song

7. THESE ARE THE VOYAGES… (ENT) - What were they thinking? This episode is a stain on the legacy of Enterprise. Fans and cast alike are 100% justified in their anger at it being turned into an episode of TNG (not even a particularly good one). It is a slap in the face that stings to this day. If you’re going to flash forward to the signing of the charter then let us see it through the eyes of the crew we love, not holograms of them. Let us see them connecting and saying goodbye, and I don’t mean via the inexplicable decision to kill off Trip (also spoiled by Troi announcing it before it happens). It’s not the worst episode ever produced but it’s certainly a contender

6. LIFE, ITSELF (DSC) - I’ll start by saying that there is a massive leap in quality from the previous entry. What the creators of Discovery pulled off in such a short time after the cancellation announcement is nothing short of astounding. All of season 5 is great but the finale takes it to another level. The Progenitor story is wrapped up and we end on a high with the wedding of Saru and T’Rina. If it ended on the beach with Burnham and Book it would be perfect. I have mixed feelings about the epilogue. It’s beautifully done but the Zora stuff feels shoe-horned in purely to tie in to ‘Calypso’. I also understand that the whole series is Michael’s story but there is little to no indication of where the rest of the crew end up. Perhaps Academy will have some answers…

(Provisional) 5. OUROBOROS PT. 2 (PDG) - I hope and pray this isn’t the end of Prodigy but if it is it can sit proudly alongside the best finales in the franchise. The wrapping up of the seasons arc is expertly handled but the middle act is a stroke of genius. Tying into the wider franchise by lining up with the synth attack on Mars is brilliant. I love that we get to see Janeway’s reaction and how she deals with it. Her coming out of retirement makes perfect sense. The final act works as both an ending and also an ideal jumping off point for any third season. The kids get their own ship and are all made acting ensigns. As a wise man once said, lets see what’s out there

4. ENDGAME (VOY) - From the alternate future to the return of the Borg to a series-best performance from Kate Mulgrew this is a rollicking thrill-ride with wonderful humour, drama and the highest stakes yet.The time travel plot is terrific although Admiral Janeway effectively destroys an entire timeline to get the crew home. Her scenes in the first half with Tuvok are truly heartbreaking and only one of several moments throughout that clearly have the cast emotional that this is the end. I’m not even disappointed that we don’t see any reunions or even a shot on Earth. The final moments with Voyager exploding from the Borg Cube, Janeway’s simple ‘we did it’, Miral’s cries from sickbay and the glorious final shot of Voyager approaching Earth gets me every time. While objectively perhaps not the best series Voyager is my happy place and I feel huge affection for this family of characters and this was a terrific send-off

3. THE LAST GENERATION (PCD) - What can I say? A superlative finale to a superlative season and series. This is the send-off the TNG cast deserved and it also sets up the next chapter for this era of Trek. Not a moment is wasted. We open with the fabulous surprise of Walter Koenig’s voice as Chekov’s son warning people away from Earth. There’s a lot of tension on the Titan culminating in the closing scenes with the return of Tuvok promoting Seven to Captain at the recommendation of the late Captain Shaw. I really hope we get Legacy with Seven, Raffi and Jack as their dynamic is great. The episode though is all about Picard and his crew. They all shine in their final face-off with the Borg. Picard proves he’s a bad-ass at any age as he pulls out a phaser and fires screaming ‘You are not his mother’ at the Borg Queen. I’m still convinced even on rewatch that someone’s gonna die as it’s heavily signposted in that direction BUT that would’ve been too downbeat and we’d have been robbed of the glorious final scene as the old friends sit down to a hand of poker as the TNG theme plays over the end credits. Perfect.

2. ALL GOOD THINGS… (TNG) - OK. I understand that this is probably objectively the best finale. The problem is thanks to the movies and Picard S3 I struggle to think of it in the same way as some of the others. That said, the concept is probably the best as we see Picard moving through time meaning we get to reflect on the early days of the show bringing back people like Tasha and we see one potential future for the crew (including an Enterprise with 3, that’s right 3, nacelles). The return of Q is also a wonderful bookend for the series as we are reminded that the trial never ends. There’s so much to enjoy, Bev in her own captains chair, the design of the Pasteur, the iconic poker game ending. I defy anyone not to get emotional and there’s a reason Terry Matalas chose to close out Picard in the same way. It may not have been the final adventure for this crew but it’s still one of the greats

1. WHAT YOU LEAVE BEHIND (DS9) - There was only one choice for me. The amount of story and characters that are wrapped up here is insane to think about but somehow they pulled it off. We get (to name a few) the final battle and ultimate end of the Dominion War, a beautiful scene in Vic’s with the whole crew together one last time and then Sisko’s ultimate fate as the conflict between the Emissary and the maniacal Winn and Dukat comes to its epic conclusion. We then get hints of where everyone will end up. Odo returning to his people, O’Brien going back to Earth to teach, Kira running the station and of course Quark…still at Quark’s. I really only have 2 criticisms, first of all Sisko being forced to leave his family as that has been the heart of the whole series. Secondly is the unforgivable choice to exclude Jadzia from the ‘Way You Look Tonight’ montage. I can forgive all of that though as this is a bombastic, emotional, beautifully written finale. 

AND THEN THERE WERE NONE - THE NOVEL

Ten little soldier boys went out to dine

One choked his little self and then there were Nine;

Nine little soldier boys sat up very late

One overslept himself and then there were Eight;

Eight little soldier boys travelling in Devon

One said he’d stay there and then there were Seven;

Seven little soldier boys chopping up sticks

One chopped himself in halves and then there were Six;

Six little soldier boys playing with a hive

A bumblebee stung one and then there were Five;

Five little soldier boys going in for law

One got in Chancery and then there were Four;

Four little soldier boys going out to sea

A red herring swallowed one and then there were Three;

Three little soldier boys walking in the zoo;

A big hear hugged one and then there were Two;

Two little soldier boys sitting in the sun

One got frizzled up and then there was One;

One little soldier boy left all alone

He went and hanged himself and then there were none

 

Ten deaths. Ten bodies. An island with no way off. What happened? Who killed them? What is the answer to the mystery of Soldier Island?

‘And Then There Were None’ is often touted as the greatest mystery novel ever written and it’s not hard to see why. The atmosphere Christie creates is palpable. The tension ramps up as the bodies start to pile up and the claustrophobia and danger emanate from every page.

Our ten characters are set up brilliantly as we meet each one individually in the opening section. Ten strangers. All summoned to Soldier Island by different people and for different purposes. 35 pages in the action begins as a mysterious voice announces that all ten are there to answer for their parts in the deaths of people they once knew. This message is one of many masterstrokes from the pen of Christie. Before we know what’s about to unfold, we understand why someone thinks each of the ten must die. Extra-judicial justice is a theme of many of Christie’s stories. This is a shining example matched only by her other iconic mystery ‘Murder on the Orient Express’.

The only other indication we get of what’s coming is a brilliant piece of foreshadowing. I am talking of course about the nursery rhyme the novel takes it’s title from. There are other shall we say ‘problematic’ versions, but the soldier version works here. The rhyme is framed on the wall of every room of the house on Soldier Island.

The novel grabs you at this point and doesn’t let up for a second. There are of course the obligatory red herrings as the shadow of suspicion is cast over each of the dwindling number of survivors in turn and it’s feasible that any could be responsible. Is it Blore the undercover police officer? Do the deaths by poisoning point to Dr. Armstrong? Is the puritanical Miss Brent striking down sinners? The genius of Christie is that she crafts reasons for suspecting someone and then giving us a reason why that may not be the case.

Every potential plot hole is paved over. We understand why there can be no escape. Why the killer can ultimately only be one of the ten. This is all compounded by the lack of a central protagonist. A few people begin to seemingly take on the role but then either take a step back or get summarily bumped off. From the opening page where we meet the first ‘little soldier boy’ to the final act with only two left standing, it is never clear who is most likely to be behind all of this. By the time the final body hits the floor I don’t think even the savviest mystery reader could work it all out.

The final chapter and epilogue are brief but in a few pages we get to find out not only the identity of the murderer but also how and why all of this has happened.

Perhaps the greatest strength of the book is that it loses almost none of its power on subsequent re-reads. The clues to the truth are all fiendishly subtle but they are there. A line here, an action there. Quite simply it’s a masterpiece and a flawless mystery

Rating: 10/10